One Fatwa Coming Up!

I usually despise email forwards of all kinds, funny or not, but my father brought this to my attention and I just couldn’t NOT pass this along.

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A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.
He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

“Are you Mohammed?” he asks.

“No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.”
And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter,
he climbs the ladder in great strides,
climbs through the clouds coming to a room
where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, “Are you Mohammed?”

“No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher up.”

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy.
he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again,
he discovers an even larger room
where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, “Are you Mohmamed?”

“No, I am Jesus…You will find Mohammed higher up.”

Mohammed higher than Jesus!
The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs
and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches an even larger room
where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
“Are you Mohammed?” he gasps, as he is, by now,
totally out of breath from all his climbing.

“No, my son….I am God. But you look exhausted.
Would you like a coffee?”

“Yes, please, my Lord.”

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
“Hey, Mohammed, two coffees!”

Pat Robertson is a Nutter

Pat Robertson is an opportunistic hatemonger. Anyone who considers himself a Christian should be speaking out against the lies that this man spreads. How do I know he’s lying? Anyone who uses “true story” and “swore a pact to the devil” together in the same thought is off his rocker. Produce evidence to support your vindictive babbling or shut the hell up. Of course, producing evidence has never been religion’s strong suit.

Creepy PVC Jesus

I saw this driving to Birmingham, Alabama this morning along Highway 280. I can only imagine what this abomination looks like lit up.

creepy_pvc_jesus

On an unrelated note, here’s another image to ponder. This is of a box of limes at my old job. The passage referenced reads, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Is the sailfish saying that? What if Jesus came back as a sailfish. Would anyone take him seriously? J&J Produce just could help but muddy their packaging by adding an unrelated scripture reference. I mean, if you really going to do that crap, you could put something somewhat related, like Galatians 5:22.

Jesus Limes

Evangelicals Pray the Darndest Things

I hate it when people on Facebook post holier-than-thou prayer requests for people who have done them wrong. It seems like such an obvious cry of “Look how good of a Christian I am! I can forgive and forget!” Either way, I would like to post Matthew 6:5 for your consideration in viewing the following.

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But then again, it’s sort of hard to be an evangelical without being somewhat of a complete braggart about your godliness.

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